i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Success! We fucked roommates!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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