I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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