Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
this will be a night to untag.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
