like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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