yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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