Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
