we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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