i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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