I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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