one two three fourrrrnication!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
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My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
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she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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