So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
