i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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