I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
