he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
