How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
