people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
