you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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