I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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