if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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