i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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