there's paper in my vomit.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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