hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
