so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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