I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
