The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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