Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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