I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
