I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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