So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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