He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
