Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
