walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
