There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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