Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
