She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize