I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
