Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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