I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
