Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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