Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I am one with the molecules
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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