Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
