remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
