ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
