I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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