Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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