What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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