And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
