What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
