You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
