My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
