Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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