I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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