yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
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I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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