Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
