I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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