can we get nightvision for the apartment?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
