I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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