who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
