Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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